Let’s face it, we’ve all seen the Instagram stories and Pinterest posts emphasizing the importance of self-care. Bath bombs, face masks, grande iced coffee: these are just a few of the most common suggestions that pop up on our social media channels. Finished a long, hard day at work? Treat yo’self! You deserve that last-minute impulse purchase in the checkout line at Target. 

While the intentions of these messages are often good, albeit consumer-focused, most of the time they are just encouraging you to take care of your needs and love yourself. This popular media portrayal of self-care often gets confused with self-love. 

Self-care includes things we can do physically (or not do) that allow us to feel better and reduce stress; it’s similar to the routine maintenance you need to do on your car, or the weeding you have to do in a garden.

Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. It is accepting that we have weaknesses and imperfections, but still taking pride in and celebrating our authentic selves. Self-love invites us not to judge the self-care that we need.

Care and love are two interworking parts that need each other like a bicycle needs a wheel. Acknowledging that you are worthy of care is an important step in the self-love process. 

So what can we do to show love to ourselves? Well, there are a handful of “Love Languages”, originating by the author Gary Chapman. The concept is simple: every person is unique and has a preferred way of expressing and receiving love. Let’s go through each love language and apply that to loving yourself! 

(Please note: these are just a few suggestions, and they are not one size fits all. Everyone is different, so make sure to find what works best for you!)

1. Words of Affirmation

   • Write down or say positive affirmations for yourself. This can be in a letter, a journal entry, or said to yourself in the mirror.

   • Listen to a motivational speech or podcast.

   • Read a book or article that empowers you.

2. Quality Time

   • Make yourself a playlist of favorite songs.

   • Pick up an old hobby you forgot about. Playing an instrument, making art, and doing puzzles are just a few examples.

   • Set aside time for mindfulness and meditation.

3. Receiving Gifts

   • Treat yourself to flowers and your favorite sweet.

   • Pick out a new subscription service to try.

   • Make yourself a handmade gift (some ideas: a painting, knitted goods, or scented candle.)

4. Acts of Service 

   • Clean your living space. Make your bed. 

   • Cross off that task that’s been on your list forever.

   • Cook yourself a favorite meal (and don’t forget to drink water!)

5. Physical Touch

   • Give yourself a massage or facial.

   • Connect with your body through yoga, going for a walk, working out, dancing, and/or stretching.

We hope this list gives you some inspiration to spend time by yourself, check in on how you’re feeling, and find a new way to show yourself some love. 

With Valentine’s Day approaching, we know that this day can often lead to feelings of loneliness and sadness for many, but this silly, sweet holiday can be about more than romantic love. Don’t forget to check in on all of the loved ones in your life: your family, friends, coworkers, and even your pets! Most of all, don’t forget about self-love. Your own well-being and happiness are just as important to focus on. Remember that you are never alone, and it’s ok not to be ok. 

If you or a loved one are going through a mental health challenge or would like more information on available resources in your community, please visit Hope For The Day’s Resource Compass.