We are officially in the middle of the holiday season. There are so many different kinds of celebrations to be had around this time of year, and for many it does truly feel like the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year”. However, like we’ve mentioned before, there can be a lot of mixed feelings that surround these typically joyous holidays, and it can be difficult to practice taking care of our mental health this time of year. 

As holiday plans are created, travel plans are made, and celebration appearances are requested, it can be easy to forget a key factor that plays into our mental well-being: boundaries. Maybe there is an overbearing, hard to deal with, or down right unbearable person you expect to see this holiday season. Without taking the time to care for your own mental health, the holidays can feel impossible to deal with.

So, what do you do if the holidays don’t feel so jolly? 

It is so important to check in with yourself and reevaluate your own needs before spending time around loved ones, especially if it has been a while since you were with them last. Setting boundaries can sound ominous, but it’s really simple. Think of it as a form of self care -- you decide what you are willing to do, discuss, or engage in and you communicate that to those around you.

Setting boundaries doesn’t have to be big and overwhelming. It can be something small like “I can only stay for an hour”, or “I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t comment on my size/ weight.”, or even “I’m so happy to spend time with you, but I need to take a bit to recharge first”. When you set boundaries with your loved ones, you are showing respect for yourself and for your mental health. The key is to be clear with what makes you feel good and what you need. 

Self care isn’t selfish, it’s practicing good mental health. 

If you’re not sure how to start these conversations with your loved ones, here are some phrases you may want to use:

• I respect your opinion, but this is my life and my decisions.

• I really appreciate your invitation, but unfortunately I won’t be able to make it. 

• I’m glad you’re interested in my relationship, but I don’t feel comfortable talking about it right now. I’ll let you know if that feeling changes.

• It makes me uncomfortable when you talk about my weight and appearance.

• This topic makes me feel uneasy, but I’d love to chat with you about something else.

There is a lot of pressure that surrounds the holidays, and by expressing your boundaries you are adding another tool in your mental health toolkit that can help you this season.

Remember, despite the things you’ve been through or the celebrations around you, It’s Ok Not To Be Ok. 
If you or a loved one are going through a mental health challenge or would like more information on available resources in your community, please visit Hope For The Day’sResource Compass.